ΓΙΑ ΤΟΥΣ ΕΠΙΣΚΕΠΤΕΣ ΣΤΟ ΚΤΗΜΑ «ΣΑΝ ΛΟΥΚΑ»

My Greek language teacher, the wonderful Aleko Damaskinos, has come to my rescue wearing his other hat as professional translator.

I sit here with faeces-bespattered kitchen door, awaiting a growing list of tradespersons and acquaintances who do not turn up.

I need to go out soon but I dread the idea of visitors turning up and being subjected to the same abuse as me.

Hence this message that will greet each one    

Παρακαλώ να προσέχετε τους γείτονες μου, την Μαρία, Σοφία και Ρόμπι ΠΑΛΛΗ.

Έχουν αρχίσει να καταστρέφουν τα λουλούδια του κήπου μου και ρίχνουν περιττώματα σκύλων στην πόρτα μου.

Για να μην νομίσει κάποιος κατά λάθος ότι ανήκετε στο κτήμα μου, παρακαλώ διαπιστώσετε αμέσως την ταυτότητά σας για να μην έχετε την μεταχείριση που αρμόζει σε αυτούς.

"To Visitors to San Luca

Please be careful of my neighbours - Maria, Sofia and Robbo PALI.

They have taken to destroying flowers on my property and throwing dog faeces at the door.

To save you being mistaken as part of my household, please identify yourself immediately on sight so as to be spared the treatment they are dealing to me."

As I've said elsewhere, I need a bit of private order and citizen protection.

I should be ok because the law firm I inherited from my late mother belongs to none other than Mr Nikolaos Dendias himself - Minister of Public Order and Citizen Protection