HELL HATH ... 'n' all that

~ Κόλαση δεν έχει καμία μανία ~

Oh boy, I just bet the Mirror legal team did their homework on this one: never have I seen a gagging order so flouted and flaunted. Talk about Shallow Throat.

"Premier League footballer who cheated on wife with model Imogen Thomas last night petrified he will be named."

Won gagging order banning details of seven-month sexual relationship with the stunning former Big Brother contestant becoming public." [Dude, beeg mistake ].

The 'star' – revered by the ­public and sponsors because of his wholesome family-man image [that's a giveaway for a start] – reassured his mistress, promising: “I’ll look after you.”

But they were the last words he ever said to her.

[But not the last words SHE had on the matter, tee hee].

Within hours Imogen was served with a draconian High Court gagging order threatening jail if she revealed her lover’s identity.

[Cue Jaws theme. Say what? A mere Y-chrom mega footie superstar revered for family man image ... diss out a babe? He has not long to live. Just look at those eyes.]

Oh but what fun the Mirror must have had sailing this close to the Gaggers Wind:

Can we say this? OK, can we say that? What if we have her saying that? Who's our Purple Prosodist on Punk'd Pussy? No, not that old dyke, we need a man's byline.

I want pact distraught tearful hurt 'n' betrayed, you know the drill.

"Chief? We were thinking of kicking off with "Devastated Imogen Thomas broke down yesterday as the strain of her fling with a love cheat soccer star took its toll."

There you go, a newsman after my own heart. "Love cheat soccer star" - sez it in one.

SOBBING in the street, Imogen Thomas struggles to cope after being exposed as the mistress of a married footballer hiding behind a court gagging order.

She was spotted near her London home yesterday weeping before holding her head in her hands and crumpling to the pavement. [That's good. I like head in hands n crumpling]

"The agony showed as she made a phone call just hours before a meeting with publicist Max Clifford".

[Dash it, chaps - not blessèd Clifford again - who let him into the story?]

Wasted money - whoo hoo! Do I love the internet.

Even as M'lud is huffing and puffing about his all-powerful be-wigged 'gagging' order, the likes of the talented wired 'Tallulah' are 'commenting' just below the gagged story that:

"Well they wasted their money, didn't they?

Anybody on Twitter would have known yesterday who these two 'men' are!

I'm glad. It's disgusting that the rich can buy the law of this country whilst people like Imogen are left to face the press alone.

If you want to know their names, check Twitter or any gossip website.

Thank goodness for the internet: makes it much harder for the rich and powerful to cover up from the public!"

Ronaldo

Stripped of rights

Thrown to the lions - or it thrown to the wolves?

Anyway, this is a pitiful piece that should have raised hackles in all good red-blooded men's wotsits but when I took the vote about Imogen being to blame or not, to my astonishment it's evenlyish split 57%-43% that Imo brought it on herself.

Forsooth the country has turned bitchy in my absence, no mistake abaht it.

IMHO, this 'famous' berk baller should be quivering in his treacherous pantaloons about what will happen to him when his name comes out.

Anyway, God bless her and God bless you and here's a snap of leggy Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace, as unlikely a name as you'll come across - well not YOU, you're too busy scoping out Aileen's other unlikely attributes.

Exploited and angry - this has the feel of a pressure cooker building up to a splattering of names under public exasperation with the sheer moneyed unfairness. The way things are going I would be very worried if i was hiding behind one of these gags. The tumbrils are creaking and nothing M'lud can do will stop the floodgates once the people have spoken.

WIKIPEDIA bags the Gags - that's much more like it.

Now fer Gawd's sake can we get our finger out and nail the ven'able Bulger bashers?

Struth! I'm almost ashamed to admit I use the web ...

Totally useless in the case of outing Venables et bludgeon buddy. Actually, they used a choo-choo, if memory recalls. Talk about It Takes a Train to Cry. The Bobster right there as usual.

PrattSearch, if you ask me. Slipper of the Net, where are you now?