23 September 2010

SLOG

DO watch. Terribly catchy tune, some mischievous scallywag faces there.

Everyone enjoying themselves hugely.

Sad to see the demise of the 'V' sign - I mean, "F*** You very much" for the Aintree Iron, and all that, but I didn't see a single true blue British V 4 Victory V-sign among them.

22 September 2010


World Beer Festivals

Our local Korfu "wiesn":

  • Mandouki Oktoberfest ~ German-Greek Society club house.

  • What: Bavarian specialities and various international delicatesses.

  • Poté;: Sun 26 Sept

  • L'Heure: 18:00 hrs

  • Thrills galore: Large tombola with many prices.

  • Stuff: Info 694 2951088

  • e-Stuff
  • Beeb Fail

    ~ Spineless BBC botch it over Brabant ~

    Good dramatic Motion Team/Reuters foto of plainclothes fuzz grabbing Stelios Prapezis after he chucked his shoe at Greek prime minister, George Papandreou.

    Much hoo-ha followed with the Thought Police trying to plant the story that it was all staged.

    Hoorah for Youtube, that we can see Malcolm Brabant's excellent 1-man work, this time capturing the shoe-throwing incident.

    The corporation took the footage down from the website after what it described as "supporters of the [Greek] government" complained about the video and made allegations about its authenticity.

    The film was taken down despite protests by Brabant.

    Loipon, check out the goodies below:

  • Uncut radio interview

  • Speedy action

  • In Greek
  • 18 September 2010

    VICAR'S RUN

    So this is what the Gullands get up to on their hols?

    Outta sight of HTC and with Saint Ninians hard to starboard, Isle of Man here they cam.

    17 September 2010

    Gabor

    video

    The only reason I post this clever vulgar clip is that the show-off driver reminds me of Gabor.

    POTTS AT PLOUS

    ~ 29th Sept ~ Plous * Nik. Theotokis ~

    Oyez oyez ... Maria and Jim 'live' at the Plouserie and speaking in tongues so it'll be mostly Greek to you but they've threatened to chuck in one or two Anglo-Saxonery to keep us on our toes.

    "You in the back row - yes, you Holmes - what did Professor Potts just say?

    No, boy! It was AD SIXTY six that the Emperor Nero arrived at Kassiopi, and he was toting an Epiphone.

    Fender weren't awarded the Ionian franchise until the following year.

    Try to keep up, boy."

  • The Pimping of Panorea - bonus treat.

    An abridged version of the Greek novella as published in Summer/Autumn 2008 issue of Island magazine, translated from the Greek by the author.

    Back to the reading, and I quote:

  • "Jim and Maria Potts will be talking in Greek (some parts in English) about writing and their books about Corfu, the Ionian Islands and Epirus

  • When: 29 September, 8.30 pm

  • Where: PLOUS BOOKSHOP, Nik. Theotokis, near St. Antonios Church.

  • All welcome but space is limited."
  • Pay no attention to that last bit about limited space.

    I have been onto RentaMob ("Groupies to the gentry, booksy readings and signings our speciality") and we will be packing the surrounding streets with the usual rabble that attend these affairs, waving their Little Red Potts pamphlets and calling 'auteur auteur!'

    The police will do their best to quell the storming of the barricades, but at a mere glimpse of the respective Potts' oeuvres, PC Plod will skive off to the nearest kafeneion - metrio and cigs in hand - and get stuck in.

    Athens News will carry photos together with quotes from various senior fuzz - "I'm sorry, WHO are these scribblers?"

    This will be enough for me to forward a report to The Bookseller, Publishers Weekly, and Australian Booktrade Weekly

    ("Shit a brick, Bruce, we've undersubscribed on this lot. Get on the blower and have them send another crate on the next convict boat out of Pomville.")

  • 15 September 2010

    SLACK JAW STUFF

    Rather good - try plugging it into your mega screen sensurround home entertainment console (with built-in Hal repartee).

    NO WANKERY

    No jokery.

    Christine O'Donnell has just won the Republican nomination for senator in Delaware.

    Mischievous Rachel Maddow wasted no time showing the footage of O'Donnell's 1996 appearance on MTV's "Sex In The 90s" TV show.

    13 September 2010

    HARD TIME

    I always like to hear that this kind of offender is young. It means when they arrive in the hoosegow they're not too hardened or ready for what's to come.

    C.f. blubby George Michael being serenaded into his new home by the narks and paedo perves - see how long he lasts, even in the Ritz-Carlton eezi-life open clink to which they're moving him so pronto.

    Back to this dodgy pair, I reckon the reception committee of hard cases is already forming and the Screws being told to make 'emselves scarce for the lads to get stuck in and medieval.

    Teeth: The biting connection won't be lost on the other 'residents'.

    Bam thump crunch against the porcelain is the quickest way they get those pesky pearlies out of the way.

    Wham bash!

    In no time at all the bulls' Big Johnsons will be sliding in and out real easy.

    coleen rooney montage

    DIVORCE SCHMIVORCE

    Jug-ears is thicker than I thought, even dumberer than he looks:

    "Wayne is not prepared to take any s*** off the wife and her family, not least because they're all living a very nice life off the back of his talent."

    If I were Coleen's attorney I'd've sent out for champagne and booked my next 2 years' summer/winter hols.

    He - he - is "not prepared to take any shit"?

    Oh poh poh.

    And try this:

  • Rooners scoffing at how his in-laws are all "living a very nice life off the back of his talent"
  • "If she can't handle it and [the marriage is] over, so be it."
  • Sex worker 'Juicy Jen' Thompson surprisingly open about where they shagged, and how Rooney never tried to conceal the 'relationship'.
  • Insiders say Rooney didn't feel especially bad about his actions when talking to his wife.
  • "He didn't try and wriggle out of it. He just said he wished it had never happened." [Translation: 'wished he had never got caught.']
  • As for living on Via Facile thanks to Twinkle-Toes, that attitude - possibly just that comment - will have guaranteed Coleen et famille the same good life for years to come, and sans having to put up with li'l Wayne's hanky-panky.

    Learnèd counsel will have a field day with those arrogant words, not to mention M'Lud gazing benignly down on the witness box as fragrant dewey-eyed Coleen bravely banishes a strategic tear.

    Then across to Him Who Taketh Not Any Shit.

    Not hard to decide generously in favour of the wrongèd wife (pregnant at the time, to boot), and I mean generous:

    By the time the wheels of justice have ground his gonads slow and fine, HWTNAS won't have much left in petty cash for his whores to live off the back let alone the front of his 'talent' ~ and kiss goodbye to scoring any fancy threesomes.

    Actually, young Jennifer looks like the perfect sweet daughter ~ cute, to boot.

    There's nothing in the reportage to suggest she was mauled by Gannex-clad grubbies such as Yours Drooly.

    But I seem to recall that she went a leetle uncontrollable too young and got on the game somewhat earlier than yer average scrubber.

    I also read that Juicy Jeni dubbed our Wayne somewhat talent-LESS down there.

    WR would text all sorts of suggestive stuff but when he actually lumbered into the boudoir he'd make do with a mere "Hi", lie down beside her and let her get on with it ~ almost like starting without him.

    Somewhat embarrassing to have your own team mates read about The Slapper and what a duff plonker you actually are in the sack.

    OK! Wot do birds know? They should stick to what they're good at, yeh?

    Whoops, that's exactly wot she was doing.

    'Twixt WAG and slag

    The Daily Mail is as low as I'll sink for newsprint but it does have Richard Littlejohn who now and then comes up with some decent quotes:

  • When we learn that Rooney handed over £200 for a packet of Marlboro, suddenly Juicy Jeni begins to seem something of a bargain: In what parallel universe does anyone cough up 200 quid for a packet of fags?
  • And I thought satire died when Noel Edmonds hired a gamekeeper.
  • While we're on the subject, where do they get the names for their children? Rooney's kid is called 'Kai' - which is either a Korean car or a type of carp.
  • The wives aren't much better, either. Is there a more preposterous woman on Earth than Posh Spice?
  • We are invited to feel sorry for Waynetta Rooney, but then you read the following priceless paragraph:
    'She earned £13,000 per episode of her Real Women television show for ITV and £41,000 a month from OK! magazine. She has received £50,000 in royalties from her first two books and was given £283,000 from a publisher for an eight-book deal.

    'She is currently on maternity leave . . . but has other deals, including a jewellery line at Argos and has just been unveiled as the new style ambassador for Littlewoods.'

  • Stop it! I write for a living and I haven't got eight books in me, even if you include the Essex Girl Joke Book.
  • And how do you become a jewellery ambassador at Argos? It doesn't get much classier than that. It's like being chief sommelier at McDonald's. Right up there with singing in Asda.
  • The dividing line between WAG and slag is often Rizla-thin.

    The Dosh

    "Legal experts claim wife Coleen could receive up to £50million in any divorce settlement from her husband, believed to be worth £33million.

    Amanda McAlister, head of Family Law with Russell, Jones & Walker said:

    “There would be a 50-50 split of assets because Coleen has been with him since the start of his career.

    “She is also looking at a percentage of his future earnings and that could be very high.”

    Sociology Note:

    Proof that we're not just a smutty behind-the-scenes probe into the world of Paying for It ... oh, all right we are.

    I just wanted the bird with the bra in and thought coming horny-Grauny 'educational' added a veneer of class.

    Brand Coleen ~ ugh, I hate that naff description ~ not that she need care.

    Word in t'boutiques is that BC could earn more than Dumpling Face.

    This one has legs.

  • Dates For Your Church Diary

    Oyez oyez!!

    Look lively, chaps, it's not often I keep you au fait on churchical matters.

    Some essential dates about which it'll be impressive to appear informèd:

  • Tuesday 31st August ~ the Revd Gordon and Mrs Helen Barker arrived to do locum duty in the absence of our Chaplain.

    They're here from Thursday 9th September until Wednesday 29th September, so don't let me hear any whispers during Communion about "How long's this bloke here for?"

  • You've missed it but, Wednesday 1st September at 19.30, The ‘Nutty Knitters’ met in the church room

  • Monday 6th September - you missed the 10am - 5pm voyage on the Good Ship BBQ ‘Magdalena’

  • Wednesday 8th September, 1900 hrs: Council Meeting

  • Wednesday 15th September ~ 6pm Marriage Blessing for Caroline and Adam Reid at Stevens on the Hill, Agios Gordios, the Rvd Barker presiding

    Thursday 16th – Sunday 19th September ~ John & Mary Gulland, Anne Giannouka, and Lorraine Tombros are attending the Eastern Archdeaconry Synod in Vienna.

  • Saturday 18th September, 1500hrs ~ Marriage Blessing for Karen & Steve Cox at HTC

  • Sunday 26th September ~ John & Mary Gulland meet the Acorn Trust ‘Christian Listeners’ team on the Isle of Man

  • Wednesday 29 September, 11.40am ~ sad farewells to the Revd Gordon and Helen Barker

  • Thursday 30th September, 11am John & Mary Gulland arrive back in Corfu
  • 12 September 2010


    19th Divertimenti in Corfu

    19 ~ 26 Sept 2010

    Not too late for punters who've not got your orders in - but I beseech you, hurry to let them know numbers and you can pay at the portcullis.

    And up there is the headline link to the Diverti's web page that none of youse seem able to find ~ or is it just that you love an excuse to call me up or cross the road to interrupt my coffee and cuddlings?

    Yes yes, I know I should be flattered.

    Loipon - the link above gives all times and details you need so no more excuses. Fin.

    And people, you KNOW who the band is, you've heard them before: The Herold Duo

    [I know the website dithers between Herald and Her-o-ld but their own CDs spell them Herold with an 'o' so that's what I'm sticking with.]

    "Jan Valta (violin) and Karel Untermuller (viola) return to Corfu for the fourth time.

    As a members of the world renowned Herold Quartet they have played in most European countries:

  • Several times in England (Wigmore Hall, London)
  • Australia
  • Japan
  • South America
  • Canada
  • USA.

    On 17 September - with the President and other VIPs present - they will be soloists with the Talich Chamber Orchestra in a prestigious concert in Prague Castle to celebrate the Anniversary of 1989's “Velvet Revolution”.

    Goddit? My good deed done.

    All that remains now is to see y'all there, nodding appreciatively along with the divine music and jostling with le tout Corfu for the good vino in the intervals.

    Show me da money: the tickets actually cost €15 and it might be useful to know this and also that there's no paying at the door for finagling financialising taxical reasons.

  • 19th Sept ~ price is on the website so that's OK and above board
  • 22nd ~ Private 'do' by the Kondokali Bay Hotel so ticket price is irrelevant
  • 24th Sept is invite only with tickets €15 sous le pupitre.
  • Same for chez Giorgas on the 26th, €15 and pay with skill and invisibility.
  • CV TRAVEL

    ~ Corfu ~

    Everyone seen the 'new' CV web site? It’s all the talk of the Gouvia chattering classes.

  • Now that I've seen their revised target market of the Kavosian élite, I must get in quick with my offer of Villa Naffopoulos. Except that we've done some re-branding of our own and we now call it Kai-Vos to cash in on Rooney sprog junior.

    Nothing if not forward-looking and market alert, eh? A bit like this CV promo.

  • For the techie cack-handed, click on the volume speaker to the top right and cop an earful of the oozy smoothie voice-over.
  • And goodness me, what unflattering pictures of the Airport
  • Treble Zut et rezut over those cruel shots of buxom 'Reps' and their healthy double-sized derrières
  • "Spiro! Kindly escort our noble guests to the Gorgon Suite" (Exit pursued by a gas cylinder)
  • 10 September 2010

    Isle of Man ~ Gays 'n' Kilt Bashers

    I fancy Emma Thompson like mad and was hells jealous that she and Ken Branners made such a cool couple.

    I did wonder about her remark about the Isle of Wighteousness being gay biffers and kilt crunchers ... and now it turns out that she meant the Isle of Man all along.

    This touches a nerve in Holy Trinity Corfu because our excellent Vicar et Spouse hail from there - well Mrs Vicar originally hails from Connecticut but she'll always be a Manxette where this blog's concerned.

    I shall monitor this story ... all we need now is for Jug-ears Rooney to flee the choler of Coleen for the verdant pastures of Douglas St Ninian's and I'll be quids in avec un double whammy.

    Mystery Worshipper : Do look at this asinine Ship-of-Fools nonsense by the Rambling Rectum - sounds exactly like me, no? That jejune style crazy-crozier deftness with words.

    I must apply to this shower to join their ranks of Anointeds Anonyma ~ have mama do an updated review which I'll spice up in my inimitable style.

    But really - just when you think you've plumbed the depths, another mossy rock tumbles over to reveal ever creepier crawlies underneath.

    07 September 2010


    susie card got another exhibition coming up

    06 September 2010

    PRESCOTT PHONE HACK

    The reason piggy 2-jags prescott is so up in arms about his alleged hacking is that we all have something to hide and "Lord" Prescott knows that if his phone was being tapped, someone has a load of shit on him.

    When I was growing up in Hong Kong, the dullest civil servant was a man I won't name because I am back in touch with his daughter with whom I went to the Peak School.

    This was a man who, among grey fonctionnaires, gave a new name to dullness.

    Even we children thought so, and if you want to know a man's true character, ask the invisible kids who frolic around as the family arguments rage and the boss calls with a final notice and the bailiff taps on the door. Les enfants know it all and if m'sieur meets his fancy lady under the pose of walking the dog, they see it too from their perch in the tree.

    Alors, we have Mister Blandissimo Incorruptibilimo ... it's April Fool time, tomorrow's grey beards are young and after fun.

    No use sending the telegram to anyone because they have too much to hide they'd just laugh and open another pink gin.

    They send the 'gramme to The Greyest of Grey.

    "All is known"

    No one actually knew what happened next because he about whom all was known left the colony by the first sampan out of Aberdeen.

    I never doubted the story: a) it came from dad who didnt tell 'stories' but did delight in the Maughamish vagaries of human nature b) I heard it in various versions from those who weren't there but who could pick up fag ends.

    Back to Coulson, even i remember typescripts at publishers i worked at having the excise truthful but inconvenient revelations. No one batted an eyelid, part of the job - a truthfully researched passage couldnt see light of day.

    The Coulson character appears in a number of mss awaiting editing/approving/checking with My Learnèd Friend/and so forth. We all read them and tried to remember to keep schtoom. The difficulty in reading an uncut typescript for possible approval and passing upwards to the editorial toffs, is that you get the full story and forget later which bit to erase from memoire.

    Remember the end of 'Cinema Paradiso'? The first time i saw that moving scene, my first instinct was to play back in my mind all the excised exercising bowdlerised edited passages of all the mss we'd had pass thru our hands and were still lying about on the editorial depts floor. If I'd been a smart reporter I'd have signed on as garbage collector for Bedford Square/Soho. Believe me, you'd've got a gold mine.

    Enuff said.