Wheels

If you get a puncture in the Tzavros/Diellas area, which we devoutly hope you do, of course, with your crowding our supermarkets with obscenely loaded trolleys and oaken thighs, here is the place to come for instant satisfaction and relief.

I sound as if I'm plugging Meryem's new emporium. Perhaps I am, but in the meantime let's stick to rubber goods. Oh you know what I mean.

Yes, indeed, we long to see you limping along in need of a good wheelspin.

Me personally, I'd prefer it to happen wayy up north, where you'd only have goat innards to solve your inner tube issues.

But if I can't have the satisfaction of seeing your tourist ass sending cinders high as you scrape along, well this is the place to get 100% satisfaction.

They are fast and pro' and they speak English and mean and do business.

No sooner have you pulled in than the guv'nor has sussed the prob, a flunkey has started work on your car and the delightful missus has come out to ask if you'd like some coffee.

Actually, you have Sweet & Savory just down the road so they can take as long as they like.

Loipon, you pass Tzavros heading south. Past the BP garage on the right.

Look for the graffiti on your side of the road, look for the pottery on the left - ack ptui, if you were so dumb to get the flat in the first place, you won't need these dynamite directions.