CAUTIONARY TALE

Humiliation Alert: Fellow chaps out there, deliver on your promises to the ladies.

Otherwise they'll go embarrassingly public about

Nights of passion

Your playing "sultan" to a "harem" of gorgeous young women.

Glam starlets and showgirls at your beck and buck

Their amazement at your stamina in the sack.

Imagine having to face the lads dahn t'pub when it's common knowledge that a sexy hot blonde is dissing you in terms of:

• "He took my breath away. I took him inside me, he suffocated me with kisses."
• A performance for which "he could get into the Guinness Book of Records".
• Struggling to enjoy the moment ... Berlusconi "took it like a challenge", keeping her up until 8am."
• "I am much younger than him, and quite an expert ... But there were moments when I feared I would not stand up to his assaults. Does he take something? I have asked myself many times."

Reminds me of a 'scandal' many years ago when the mistress of some business tycoon revealed that he wanted it 5 times a night. Boss of GEC, I think it was.

Impressed and jealous that the oldster could guide the destinies of his business empire *and* have it off in one night as many times as most of them were getting in 10, the punters sent the stock soaring.

Nativity figures

Silvio's Babes

Silvio - Siete arrivati!

Cosa? Anatomicamente corretta figurine dei tuoi amici signora pettoruta a disposizione posto intorno al mio presepe albero di Natale?

Il saggio re #1: "Ooh, certamente la lussuria dopo quella bionda. Ma io non la tua fantasia."

Il saggio re #2: "Aspettate fino a quando vede le dimensioni del mio incenso"

Il saggio re #3: "furia per le bambole. Sto aspettando il colpo-up bambola di Noemi"